At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
