come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
