We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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