I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
