I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize