How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
