Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
