O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why are your pants in the freezer?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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