Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
