For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
