Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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