I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize