And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
