mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
