Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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