I CAN MOONWALK!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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