Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize