I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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