wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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