I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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