Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
