You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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