I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
