hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you told grandpa to call you daddy
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
