Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
