I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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