There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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