somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
