i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
