Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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