is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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