just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize