Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
