Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
