I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
