The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
