I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
