just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How external is "for external use only"?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
