If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
