What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
