Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
