just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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