she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
