i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
