oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
