You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have aggressive nipples.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
