no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
