Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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