I cockslap morals
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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