just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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