i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
