dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
