girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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