well you can't waste a boner
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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