i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
