There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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