I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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