glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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